An iPhone App for Shitterbugs!

It looks like it is missing the central feature a Shitterbug would want: a photo log! Nonetheless, it should help the anally fixated keep precise track of their eliminatory activities.

Hey, You Got Your Wank on My Shit!

Enjoy this incredible piece of entertainment:

Like Father, Like Daughter

Today I met my wife and daughters at a local park for lunch. After we had finished lunch and had been playing for a while, my 5-year-old announced, "I have to go poop."

"OK", we said, "just hold on and we'll go to Daddy's office."

"I can't! It's coming out!"

"Well just try to hold it in."

We all started walking to the car, with her trailing behind.

"It came out my pants."

Sure enough, there was a little goat nugget on the ground. [Did we pick it up? Fuck no!]

As with most parental issues, I had to laugh. Wife laughed, too. Because when I was a kid I very often would "forget" to go inside when I had to shit and when I crapped in my pants I would just wiggle my pants leg and let the little balls of shit tumble out. Fortunately I (and she) tended to have pretty solid turds. Although I also remember going behind bushes and removing sloppy underwear and disposing of it.

Product Placement

An excellent product for the aspiring shitterbug. Combine sculpture and photography!

My Next Million

I laid a very long, perfectly straight turd in the toilet at my office just now, very similar to DookieMcLovin's long hard shit dick, but with one little round testicle to one side. I named it "Lance Armstrong". Unfortunately, I did not have any photographic equipment at hand, and I draw the line at having to run out of the office restroom to grab a camera and run back into the restroom.

Not having a camera handy is a constant problem for this Shitterbug contributor. But necessity is the mother of invention, so I just came up with the next great thing in the toiletry arts. Most of us have camera-phones these days, but why are there no "camera-toilets"? A small camera could be embedded in the underside of the toilet seat, facing down into the bowl. When the deed was done, and the depositor operated the flush handle, a photo would be snapped just prior to the corny goodness disappearing into the shitty hereafter. The camera-toilet could include a wireless network connection to upload the new image directly to Shitterbug!

Hey look! A book about shit!

Rorschach Stinkblot Test

Contemplating the soiled paper after a particularly messy poo, I folded it to reveal a new image for consideration. Would a psychoanalyst simply determine that I was uncreative if I saw the obvious butterfly or moth? Or would he or she issue a more damning diagnosis owing to the fact that I look for deeper meaning in my stains, then photograph them and post them online for the world to see?

What do you see?