Hard Long Shit Dick

Just thought I would share with the world my shitdick for the day. One complete total long shit, a black cock up my ass if you will...


It felt good to get ManDingo out of my arse.  Peace.

Going Green

Damn, where's my camera when I need it. We're visiting family so I could do a big supported bike ride yesterday (104 miles). Ate whatever they had at the rest stops: lots of bananas, apples, bagels with PB&J and a gallon or so of Gatorade. Plus a Polish Sausage at the finish and donuts back at the inlaws'.

Today? The greenest shit I can ever remember producing. My first dump today was two tone with forest green and army green. The second one? Go Army! Beautiful. And weird.

UPDATE: Mystery solved, I think. I remembered today that my inlaws had Fruit Loops in the house. I had a bowl with breakfast before the ride, and probably three more bowls between the end of the ride and bedtime (I was eating everything in sight). So my verdant turds were an ode to the wonders of artificial food coloring.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My sister was babysitting. My 4-year-old daughter was sitting on the toilet taking a dump. She looked at my sister kinda sideways and said:

"Your hair looks kinda like poop. It's brown and shiny like poop."

A Visitor

It's been my intention all along to include visiting turds. This weekend I had occasion to visit a farm and use an old-fashioned pit toilet. I happened to have my camera.


Who knows the people outside the toilet thought of the camera clicks they heard.

Mini Me

Speaking of my daughter, let's get her in on the action!


Behold the turd of a two-year-old, nestled cozily in a bed of petroleum-derived absorbency.

Oxymoron

This creatures reminds me of a superhero. Like a cousin of Thing, but made of feces.


But who ever heard of a superhero who couldn't swim? Shit Thing seems to be struggling for air.

A Family Affair

My daughter loves to classify things by size. So if she were to narrate this photo, she would say: "Daddy. Mommy. Big Sister. Me."