Strip Tease Gone Bad

Hat tip to erstwhile contributor NMB.

The Turd Twister!

From the manual:

Safety Considerations:

For your safety, maintain a firm grip on the the Safe-T-Floss™ Retraction Cord. Think of it as your "rip-cord to relief", should you ever find the Turd Twister in an inappropriate, or uncomfortable location. The Safe-T-Floss™ System was engineered to work to the specifications of most major dental floss manufacturers, however, for maximum security and peace of mind, you may wish to employ a 30-lb test fishing line. Heavier cord is recommended especially for users that have a tendency to "sphincter-pinch" during extrusion.

Check it out.

Oompa-Loompadee poo

My 7-year old son and I found this wonderful little bit of low-tech fecal-centric joviality whilst surfing for the Oompa-Loompa songs.

It WAS the Chocolate Factory, after all.

This story of a first date gone horribly wrong is surely fictional, but it's funny nonetheless. And it involves shit!

Dessert

The spouse and I were sitting at the dinner table enjoying our meal. From the bathroom came the voice of our 5-year-old, "Mommy, my poop looks like an ice cream cone!"

Authorities Use Feces To Find Suspected Thief

Special correspondent junglerock, who reported the turd-spelunker story below, send word of another turd-related story from ABC affiliate KOAT in Albuquerque:

DNA From Crime Scene Feces Tested Against Suspected Parolee

VALENCIA COUNTY, N.M. -- Detectives are interested in what a thief left behind in a string of burglaries in Valencia County.

...

The thief used the bathroom and left his solid waste on display for the homeowner.

...

The detectives on the case said they used the thief's calling card against him. The feces went into evidence and the state crime lab extracted DNA from it.

"We ended up getting a hit," [Detective] Rivera said.

Two-time turd-spelunker caught peering up from the bottom of pit latrines again

boing boing reports:

Portland's Gary Moody has been caught -- for a second time -- hiding inside a pit latrine at a campsite. The first time he claimed he'd dropped his wedding ring (authorities sieved the biomass and found no ring); this time he claimed he'd dropped his shirt. In an affidavit, he describes himself as having an "outhouse problem."