Dessert

The spouse and I were sitting at the dinner table enjoying our meal. From the bathroom came the voice of our 5-year-old, "Mommy, my poop looks like an ice cream cone!"

Authorities Use Feces To Find Suspected Thief

Special correspondent junglerock, who reported the turd-spelunker story below, send word of another turd-related story from ABC affiliate KOAT in Albuquerque:

DNA From Crime Scene Feces Tested Against Suspected Parolee

VALENCIA COUNTY, N.M. -- Detectives are interested in what a thief left behind in a string of burglaries in Valencia County.

...

The thief used the bathroom and left his solid waste on display for the homeowner.

...

The detectives on the case said they used the thief's calling card against him. The feces went into evidence and the state crime lab extracted DNA from it.

"We ended up getting a hit," [Detective] Rivera said.

Two-time turd-spelunker caught peering up from the bottom of pit latrines again

boing boing reports:

Portland's Gary Moody has been caught -- for a second time -- hiding inside a pit latrine at a campsite. The first time he claimed he'd dropped his wedding ring (authorities sieved the biomass and found no ring); this time he claimed he'd dropped his shirt. In an affidavit, he describes himself as having an "outhouse problem."

An iPhone App for Shitterbugs!

It looks like it is missing the central feature a Shitterbug would want: a photo log! Nonetheless, it should help the anally fixated keep precise track of their eliminatory activities.

Hey, You Got Your Wank on My Shit!

Enjoy this incredible piece of entertainment:

Like Father, Like Daughter

Today I met my wife and daughters at a local park for lunch. After we had finished lunch and had been playing for a while, my 5-year-old announced, "I have to go poop."

"OK", we said, "just hold on and we'll go to Daddy's office."

"I can't! It's coming out!"

"Well just try to hold it in."

We all started walking to the car, with her trailing behind.

"It came out my pants."

Sure enough, there was a little goat nugget on the ground. [Did we pick it up? Fuck no!]

As with most parental issues, I had to laugh. Wife laughed, too. Because when I was a kid I very often would "forget" to go inside when I had to shit and when I crapped in my pants I would just wiggle my pants leg and let the little balls of shit tumble out. Fortunately I (and she) tended to have pretty solid turds. Although I also remember going behind bushes and removing sloppy underwear and disposing of it.

Product Placement

An excellent product for the aspiring shitterbug. Combine sculpture and photography!